I’m sorry, but you’ll never ever never ever ever never never ever never understand depression until you’ve been there.

You can’t understand the weights in you stomach and the elephant on your chest.

You can’t comprehend the agony, disinterest, and lack of motivation you call “laziness”

you won’t get the feeling of your guts being ripped out of you abdomen when something you deem minimal occurs, when you’re there every “little” issue is the straw that broke the camels back.

And don’t even try to tell me you empathize with the feeling of starting at a bottle of pills in one hand and a razor in the other.

Until you’ve been there back the fuck off and don’t dare tell me to “get over it”

It kinda takes some of the fear out of it when you know you’re not about to be impaled.

More than anything right now I want the man I love to come back from Nepal, sweep me off my feet, and kiss me deeply. I want to tell him about my ed, and tell him how I ache. I want him to tell me I’m beautiful and enough and that he loves me. 

But thats not going to happen…

FUCK today sucks ass. 

Would love someone to talk to. There is no one in my life I can talk to about this struggle. I can’t describe how alone I feel. My heart aches so bad. I know this sounds pathetic and childish but tumblr is the only place that I allow this part of me to show.